A letter to Kevin Feige

Dear Kevin Feige

I don’t think I can’t ever express the extent of my gratitude for all the work you do at Marvel. I probably don’t even know half of what you do, but I know the creation of the MCU is an amazing feat. The first Marvel movie I saw in theaters was Guardians of the Galaxy, I had seen a few others at home before that, but this cemented me as a fan. Since then, I have tried my hardest to see every movie in theaters.

I have depression and anxiety. I have since before the creation of the MCU. I call the Guardians movies and Thor Ragnarok my happy movies because they always help when my mental health is being difficult, though honestly sometimes I can put on any MCU movie. They help on my hard days. I like that the characters can be saving the world, but are still flawed and real, which makes their stories all the more relatable.

On the very darkest of days, it is the MCU that I look to. To be honest, I have wanted to die and I’ve been suicidal (I am in therapy and I get proper care for this before you worry). Knowing the future movies that are coming, especially the ones I am more excited for, helps give me hope and hang on during the dark times. While I am having difficulties right now, I know I need to see Thor Love and Thunder as well as the next Guardians. By the time I see those, more titles will have been announced that I will want to see. The MCU is a constant light in my ever changing world that helps me get through the day.

I just want to thank you for all this. It means more than I can say and thank you seems inadequate. I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

A fan

Our Cat

Warm sun on my pale legs
Cool breeze shifts my hair
Hot pavement beneath my hands
Five cars wait with baited breath
Who will be the first to know?
My sister speaks on the phone beside me
Her tone becomes dull
A woman with a box exits the building
Who is the lucky winner?
A cloud passes over the sun
A dark look is on my sister’s face
A couple exits a car with happy faces
They open the box
A bundle of fur
Hugs all around
My sister turns to me
She speaks
My heart breaks
The couple drives away
Another takes their place
Five cars wait with baited breath
We wait
Here comes our box
Our bundle of fur
She yells, meows
She wants to go home
Her prognosis is bleak
We talk to her
We pet her
We love her
We head home
Our cat is dying
Another car comes
Five cars wait with baited breath

For Now

Fluffy and white
The clouds move
Across the blue sky
The sun shines through
The dark days
Have burned away
For now
The storm
Will be back
As it always does
But for now
I feel the warmth of the sun
For now
I look at the sky
For now
I smile
For now
I feel happy

The Dark Days

The dark days
Have come
They eat me up
Consume me
I try
And try
And try
To crawl out
Of this hole I’m in
But my feet just fall
So I stare up
Longing to see the light
Any light
Something to get me through
These dark days
And I see it
A swath of blue
In a dark sky
Letting in the light
And on the other side


The end is nigh
Can they undo the horrible snap
My emotions running
I can’t wait to see around the corner
What could come next
Ten years coming
Ten years watching
Ten years spent